Monday, August 19, 2019

Tamper Dan, Dirt Merchant.

You’ll inevitably encounter Tamper Dan trudging down the road, yoked to a meager wagon beside his aging mule, Albert.

Dan’s dressed in ill fitting pantaloons patches with a multitude of fabrics, each in a different color like a rundown circus tent and a brown leather vest that shows off an ample and sagging gut. He wears a top hat, that looks to be worth more than his wagon, covering a balding head with two stringy black hair hanging down to his shoulders.

If asked about his peculiar traveling arrangements he’ll tell you his magnificent stallion Albert is simply too precious to risk a load upon his back, thus Dan is sharing the work load of the wagon.

If given an opportunity, Dan will gladly stop and show you his wares.

  1. Dirt from the homeland of each of the PCs. Dan tells of local superstition that says a man’s soul will never rest if he dies on foreign lands, but this can be prevented if you keep homeland soil close at hand.
  2. “Night Soil” allegedly from the Queen’s chamber pot. Of no apparent use, is Dan just a scatalogical pervert?
  3. Oddly fresh dirt, from the ground you’ll die on. It smells of blood.
  4. Dirt from in front of the last Inn the party slept in. If you hold the dirt in your palm you can hear idle talk from inside the Inn.
  5. Dirt from the next Inn the party will sleep at. If you buy this dirt you’ll be plagued by nightmares and won’t get the benefits of rest.
  6. Soft, golden sand. Warm to the touch, smells of sea water. If you close your eyes, you can picture a cliff side beach dotted with alcoves filled with impossible treasures.
  7. Dirt from a local abattoir - spread in a circle to repel prey animals or to attract predators.
  8. A small container of mud, to be spread upon the skin of the chest to alleviate common illnesses.
  9. Exceptionally moist, black dirt from a Dryad’s personal garden - crawling with fat earthworms. Seeds planted within grow exponentially fast. Keep it secret, the Dryad is hunting for the thief brazen enough to pilfer from her personal garden.
  10. Dirt from the basement of a bakery, growing purple mushrooms. It’s the secret to the bakers regionally famous bread, but if word gets out he’ll be ruined.
  11. Ash mud from a master blacksmiths forge. Fires built atop this dirt burn extraordinarily hot.
  12. Bog mud, putrid and green. Put under a sleeper’s bed to cause debilitating abdominal cramps strong enough to end a pregnancy.
  13. Dirt from a wolf’s den. Place beneath a crib or bassinet to grant a fussy babe restful sleep. Rub on the skin to pass through lupine territory unmolested.
  14. Cow patty dirt - already growing 1d4 psychedelic mushrooms, more will grow if tended properly.
  15. Dirt from hallowed ground, useful for warding against fiends and outsiders and as part of administering Last Rites.
  16. Dirt from beneath a gallows, a guilty man cannot bear the weight of it in his hand.
  17. River mud, if placed on dry ground it “flows” subtlety toward the nearest clean water source.
  18. Ground up stone from atop a high mountain, favored meditation spot of a forgotten order of Monks. Grants a one time use of two Ki points/one Ki die from your systems monk class OR dispels any negative emotional effect on the person holding the dirt in their bare hands.
  19. Necromancer’s grave soil, grants control over one mindless undead for one hour.
  20. Sand castle sand- exceptionally cooperative sand, excellent for building sand castles.

    Where I stole the name from - My high school sweet heart's step brother played in a few bluegrass bands and eventually went on to do regional tours, this is where they got their start.

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